Nightmare
by Inkognito97
Summary: With a jolt the young brown haired Jedi sat upright in his bed. Sweat trickled down his forehead and his breathing was heavy and shallow. "Shit," he mumbled and buried his face in his hands, trying desperately to calm down. "Anakin," a civilised and slightly accented voice called for his attention and with a start Anakin straightened up. Part 14 of the ABC of Obi-Wan Kenobi


AN: Sadly I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters. I only borrow then and play with them.

All mistakes are my own.

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Nightmare

With a jolt the young brown haired Jedi sat upright in his bed. Sweat trickled down his forehead and his breathing was heavy and shallow.

"Shit," he mumbled and buried his face in his hands, trying desperately to calm down. He had long since noticed that the Force was too slippery after he had experienced one of his nightmares, so he didn't even consider calling upon it. The nightmares were getting worse and more frequent and they always were about the death of his loved ones. The most outstanding however was the death scene of Padme. It was not a particularly gruesome death, in fact he only heard her crying as well as the crying of an infant. It was not hard to figure out that she would die giving birth. It was also the only dream he would call a vision, for it kept repeating itself.

"Anakin," a civilised and slightly accented voice called for his attention and with a start Anakin straightened up. He found himself gazing right into ever changing blue-green eyes that were narrowed in worry.

For a moment Anakin was just staring at his companion but then in a streak of panic, the young Jedi looked around panicked. Thankfully none of the men or his Padawan were awake, which meant that he hadn't screamed in his dreams. But how had Obi-Wan known that he was in distress?

A gentle hand settled on his shoulder and almost immediately Anakin felt the Force run through him and calm him. He closed his eyes and swam in the calming presence that was Obi-Wan and enjoyed the peace he was experiencing. All too soon it ended, but Obi-Wan's hand remained firmly on his shoulder. The younger Jedi didn't want to open his eyes, for he knew what he would see. Disapproval in blue-green eyes, a firm set mouth and then he would be scolded for his lack in ability and control.

"Anakin," here it comes, "I know you prefer to deal with things on your own and in your own way… just know that I am not far away should you need anything and if it is just to talk."

Surprised the brown haired Jedi opened his eyes and found himself gazing in the friendly face of his former Master. "Thank you Master… but I doubt you would understand."

The ginger haired Master hummed in thought, "Maybe not about the content, no. But I am rather experienced with visions," he chuckled at Anakin's baffled expression, "I won't force you to anything, but I am here when you need me."

For one sweet moment the young Skywalker wanted to cling to his old Master and tell him everything about Padme and his children. For one wonderful moment he could imagine Obi-Wan holding his child, but then the picture was crushed by a copy of the Jedi Code and Anakin shook his head to clear his thoughts.

"Thank you Obi-Wan, I will keep that in mind," he received an understanding and warm smile and Obi-Wan squeezed the taller male's shoulder before standing up from his kneeling position on the dirty floor.

Anakin watched him walk away, but not towards his sleep roll that looked quite abandoned, but outside. Anakin wondered, Obi-Wan had always found the blue night sky reassuring. In other words, there was something greatly bothering and Anakin had the distinct feeling that his vision was only a part of that. Deciding to investigate that later, the young Jedi laid back on his makeshift bed and closed his eyes. Obi-Wan's Force presence still lingered with him and Anakin drew on the comfort like a scared child. There was no vision or dream for the rest of the night.

It was becoming a habit that Anakin kept having nightmares only to find Obi-Wan at his side. At one point the older Jedi even woke him up by a shake of his shoulder. Obi-Wan never offered anything but understanding and comfort and most importantly he didn't pry. The Force urged Anakin to reveal his secret, but the young Skywalker was still too afraid. He loved Obi-Wan, like a father, but the man was still a Jedi, he wouldn't understand. Then again, there had been this incident with the Mandalorian duchess…

There was also the issue of Obi-Wan always being there. He always had rings under his eyes, that was part of the job description of Council Members, but Anakin could have sworn they got worse. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan would not return to sleep after he had been waking and comforting the younger Jedi. That and the fact that Obi-Wan was always awake when Anakin needed him, made the brunette male doubt that his old Master slept at all.

At first the young Skywalker thought that it was his fault, that his distress was causing Obi-Wan to lose sleep, but Anakin had checked his shields and they were strong as ever; which simply meant that the ginger haired male was an insomniac.

After a particularly disturbing dream, when the only anchor had been Obi-Wan's calm and constant voice, Anakin had awoken with an unmanly squeal. He had bolted upright, straight into Obi-Wan and instinctively the brown haired man had clung to his companion's tunic like a drowning man to his saviour.

"Breathe little one," the accented voice had said and Anakin felt how his former Master let his own presence surround him and calm him. Eventually the brunette allowed himself to relax against the older man. "That's it Padawan."

"Not a Padawan anymore," Anakin mumbled lamely against the chest he was leaning against. Said chest was vibrating because its owner was chuckling.

"You'll always be my Padawan," and Anakin felt a warm feeling arise in his chest. He flinched in surprise when a gentle hand began running through his shoulder long hair. "Are you certain you don't want to talk about it?" Anakin shook his head, "I am worried about you, young one."

"What about you, why don't you sleep?" the younger Jedi tried to guide their topic into another direction.

He felt more than he heard Obi-Wan sigh, "I've been having similar problems like you, little one."

"Nightmares?" Anakin asked.

"No, visions... visions of the past and the future alike," he paused and Anakin thought he wouldn't offer anything else, but then he continued, "You know I have a gift for the Unifying Force, don't you?" Anakin nodded, "It's worse knowing that everything you are seeing is actually going to happen or has already happened."

"What are your visions about?" Anakin could have hit himself. Of course Obi-Wan wouldn't tell himself anything, especially not since Anakin himself has revealed nothing towards the kind Jedi Master.

"Death and destruction," the brunette was surprised when the older male did answer, "I don't know most of the people I see, mind you, but it is still not a... welcome experience to see what fate they have to endure and what death awaits them."

Anakin nodded. So he had been wrong about Obi-Wan not understanding. "My visions are also about death... but I know all those people."

Obi-Wan hummed in thought, "Maybe the Force wants to tell us something."  
"I don't think so. These are really just nightmares, probably thanks to that accursed war we are fighting..." he sighed and slumped some more against a strong chest, "No, I only have two visions."

He felt Obi-Wan nod against his head, where the older male had rested his chin on Anakin's hair. "You know... the night is beautiful, how about we go for a walk?" the older Jedi suggested and Anakin nodded, hoping that the fresh night air could help him.

They stood side by side, almost touching, under the countless stars.

"I distantly remember a certain young man saying that he wants to visit every one of those stars," Obi-Wan said chuckling, causing his taller companion to blush.

"I still hold onto that dream," a comfortable moment of silence passed between them, "Master? Why do you enjoy the night so much?"

"Ah... it reminds me that we are not alone in the galaxy, that there are millions of other life forms out there, just waiting to be found. But I guess my primary reason is quite something else," that had peaked the young Skywalker's interest.

"Would you," he cleared his throat, "would you tell me?"

The ginger haired man closed his eyes for a moment and Anakin knew he was searching for the right words. Eventually he said, "It reminds me of Qui-Gon."

"How so?"

"His eyes, the always shone like a million stars on the midnight blue sky, waiting to be explored. Some of the stars were already destroyed, but their light continued to shine and other stars were born."

Anakin grimaced, "I don't quite get it."

"Qui-Gon was always more in tune with the Living Force, with life itself. He saw potential even in the most pathetic life form and he saw light where others only saw darkness. But, it was not always like this," Obi-Wan sighed, "Qui-Gon's second apprentice turned to the dark side and it left my Master with the fear of being betrayed again. So much in fact, that he refused me to take me as is Padawan quite a few times."

Anakin gasped. Obi-Wan rarely shared something of his past, especially not something so personal, so intimidate. "He refused you as a Padawan?" he asked in disbelief, "Which Master with his mind intact would do such a thing?"

"Oh, just about all of them."

"What?"

Another sigh, but this one was sad, "Too impulsive, too reckless and not in control of his temper or his emotions, that is how they described me when I was an Initiate. I was almost thirteen and already on my way to the Agri-Corps, Qui-Gon had been my last hope, but he had refused. Yoda however made sure that I was send to Bandomeer at the same time and on the same ship like Qui-Gon... long story short, I was about to give my life for the lives of others and in the end, Qui-Gon asked me to be his Padawan."

"Let me guess, now they do not want to know anything about it anymore... but I still don't see what it has to do with the stars."

"Ah, I was about to explain this. You see, when Qui-Gon finally was my Master, his eyes were dull, almost dark. You could say like a starless night. He expected me to betray and leave him like his former apprentice had and in a way I did. We were on a mission on Melida/Daan. Master Tahl, she was Qui-Gon's best friend and I know they had feelings for each other, was missing and we were supposed to rescue her. Now you must know that Melida/Daan was a war torn planet. Two sides were fighting against each other and another party had formed, called the Young. The Young were children of the two sides who wanted peace. I felt drawn to them and wanted to help them, Qui-Gon just wanted to go back to Coruscant so Tahl would get medical treatment."

"Don't tell me he left you behind!" Anakin exclaimed.

"He did and I was not a part of the Order anymore."

The young Skywalker sat on the floor at this revelation. His Master, the Order's favourite, its star and the legendary Sith-Killer had been expelled once. "Why would they do that?" he asked from his position from the ground, "I mean, you wanted to help and it's the Jedi's duty to help those who need it, especially Qui-Gon should have known this."

"Well," Obi-Wan said and sat down next to the younger male, "Qui-Gon DID see it, but only after I've been allowed back to the temple on probation. He had been blinded by his feelings for Tahl, who fully agreed with me, just so you know."

"He was attached to her..." Anakin let the sentence trail off and thought about his relationship with Padme.

"In a way, yes. After her death he..." Anakin looked up just in time to see Obi-Wan's face turn into a pained grimace, "he almost fell to the dark side. I am not quite sure what really stopped him in the end from killing her murderer. Maybe it was because of me, or maybe because he knew Tahl would never have approved of this," he cleared his throat, "But at one point during my apprenticeship, the light returned to his eyes and it burned with the intensity of millions of stars. And even though one star died with Tahl's death or when his fallen Padawan died, they still shone."

"Because he still had a reason to live on..." Anakin finished for the ginger haired Jedi. "When I think about it, eyes are the doors to our souls and it says much about a human, whose eyes continue to shine even though the hardship he faced. Just like the light of a star, which you can see long after the actual star died."

Obi-Wan gave him an approving smile, "You got it. Qui-Gon was my mentor, my guardian and in a way also my father. I always felt close to him, but especially when we were sitting outside or in one of the meditation gardens from which we could watch the night sky. It still reminds me of him."

Anakin almost dreaded the next question, "Were you..." he cleared his throat, but Obi-Wan's gentle gaze calmed some of his nervousness, "Would you say you were attached to him?"

The Jedi master hummed in thought and stroked his beard, while thinking about his next words, "I loved him, but I was not attached to him. In the end I was able to let him go, I was able to kill the Sith without hate and the need for revenge... You see, the Jedi Code does not explicitly forbid love, it actually encourages it, for a Jedi cannot protect the galaxy if he doesn't love, but it warns about attachment."

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment and immediately relived the scene when he held his dying mother in his arms. He had slain all those dirty beasts, but in the end it had only caused him more grief than satisfaction. Deciding that he could trust Obi-Wan above everyone else, the brunette opened his mouth, "I... I did something terrible Master."

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan sounded uncertain and Anakin couldn't bring himself to look the other male in the eyes.

"When... when my mother died... I was on Tatooine because of a vision. I saw her suffering and I saw her dying. So I went to Tatooine, with Padme... mother had been kidnapped and I had been able to get into the camp without anyone noticing me." The words were almost spluttering out of him and Anakin encouraged it, for he knew that if he should hesitate, he wouldn't be able to finish. "I found her in one of the tents and I freed her, but she was so weak... she died in my arms and... I felt so much hate I... I just took my lightsaber and killed all of them, even the children."

He heard Obi-Wan taking a deep breath, "Did you enjoy it?"

Anakin's head snapped up painfully. He had expected punishment, or to be scolded or anything else except such a question. "No, it just made it worse and afterwards, when I was able to think clearly again, I felt so dirty."

"You met the dark side that day... you did good to tell me."

"Why?" he hated how shaky his voice sounded.  
"Because I can already feel some of the burden leaving you and therefore it eases your mind. This is not a burden you should carry alone."

"How can you be so calm about it?" Obi-Wan's blue-green eyes glittered strangely in the spare light of the moon, "Do you think you are the only Jedi, to whom this happened? It happened to Qui-Gon, it happened to me in a way and I could tell you things about the Council Members..." he took another deep breath, "Don't mistake my calmness with ignorance. I do not like what you told me and what you did, but I cannot change it either. I am just honoured and very proud that you chose to share this with me."

"Thank you Master," Anakin mumbled and once more avoided the ginger haired man's eyes.

"Do you want to tell me about your visions now?" it was asked in a gentle voice.

Anakin nodded, "The first one shows you fighting... another man. I cannot make out the other man's face nor do I know who he is, but you two are fighting on dangerous ground. It's a lava planet and the platforms are slowly falling and breaking, yet the two of you are keeping fighting. I don't know the complete ending, I just see the two of you tumbling down, but..."

"I understand... You fear for my live."

"Yes, I don't want you to die."

"Padawan, look at me," and Anakin did, "Even when I die, I will never leave you. A part of me will always stay in your heart and if it eases your mind, I will find a way to somehow guide you and you are going to wish I didn't!" he winked and the brunette actually had to chuckle at that. Leave it to the Negotiator to find the right words.

"I'd rather have the living Obi-Wan though."

"Me too, I've heard he is quite the handsome and kind fellow," Obi-Wan joked and Anakin rolled his eyes before turning serious again.

"The second vision is about Padme, I see her dying giving birth... Obi-Wan, there is something else I have to tell you," his voice was panicked, but Obi-Wan just calmly looked at him, "I and Padme, we are married."

"Oh really?" Obi-Wan asked sarcastically and with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Wait... you knew?" Anakin was scandalised.

"Pretty much."

"And you are not angry?"

"I am angry that you didn't invite me, but as I said earlier, love is not forbidden, attachment is," the wise Jedi Master answered.

"Why are you and the duchess Satine not, you know."  
Obi-Wan sighed, "We are not betrothed or married, because I knew I could not keep myself from forming an attachment. That and it would both destroy us, me a Jedi who runs around the galaxy most of the time and she sitting on Mandalor with the fear that every time I leave, I might be dead," he shook his head, "We both know she would ask me to leave the Jedi eventually, despite her knowing that it is my life, she would force me to choice and we both know the answer to that question."

"What would you chose?" Anakin was not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.

"I would chose her," his eyes held a pained and sad expression.

Anakin gulped, "That is a little unexpected."

"Is it really? Wouldn't you do the same with Padme and your children?"

"How do you know about the child and how do you know that it's going to be more than one?" the younger male suddenly asked suspicious.

The ginger haired man sighed dramatically, "Really Anakin, you just told me you saw her dying while giving birth to her child. I don't need the Force to know that it is yours. But the Force IS a valuable ally for determination of the number of children as well as their gender, you only have to listen to it," the older Jedi smiled mischievously.

"Do you think the vision is true?" the young Knight asked after he had overcome the shock of the new revelation.

"To be honest, I don't think either of your visions will come to pass, especially not when the two of us will do everything to ensure that."

Anakin's eyes widened in shock, "You are not going to tell the Council?"

Obi-Wan turned very serious, "You made mistakes, grave mistakes if I say so. Mistakes that would definitely lead to quite a punishment, BUT I fear the Council's judgement would be clouded by their fear. In fact, it always clouded when it was concerning you."

"They fear me..." it was not a question, but the older male answered nevertheless, "Yes, they do."

"What about you?"

"I don't fear you. I did not even fear you when we first met. Maybe I said that you were dangerous and I still stand behind this opinion," Anakin felt like somebody has run him through with a lightsaber, "You have great power, my former Padawan, and power is any form is dangerous. The difference is, if you are able to understand and control it, or if you let it control you. It would say the former applies to you."

"I see," the pain lessened again. It was alright, Obi-Wan did not think any less of him, didn't think he was a monster or overly dangerous. He hesitated, "You said there would be a punishment... and seeing that all of this happened while I was your apprentice," he took a deep breath, "I will accept every punishment you deem fit for me, my Master." He bowed his head in a sign of submission, something he had sworn to never do again since he had been freed from slavery, but Obi-Wan was different.

"I am proud of you," and the brunette knew the older male meant it, "and I will think of something."

Silence rang between them after that. Either male was sorting his own thoughts, trying to sort through what has been told. Anakin allowed himself to steal a glance at his former Master. Obi-Wan had been a serious and stern teacher, but he had always cared for Anakin's wellbeing and more than once had the man stood up against the Council. Anakin felt shame when he realised that he had wronged his Master by letting fear and doubt cloud his mind. Of course he could trust Obi-Wan, in fact, Obi-Wan was probably the only one he could truly trust. Of course there was Padme, but she was no Jedi, she did not understand certain things and Palpatine was... creepy Anakin always had a strange feeling around the man and know that he thought about it, Obi-Wan did not particularly like the Cancellor either. Maybe he should heed Obi-Wan'S suggestion and see the man less, or better yet, never again.

The moon was slowly starting to vanish on the horizon and the sun was already on its way to awake the silent planet. Obi-Wan and Anakin were still sitting close next to each other and watched the natural spectacle with awe. The brunette stole another glance at his companion, before he boldly shuffled closer and leaned into the warm body, resting his head on the Jedi Master's shoulder. Not a moment later, a comforting arm was drawn over his shoulder and both Jedi were more than content to stay just like this for a while longer.

"Thank you Master," Anakin mumbled.

"Every time, my Padawan," and the Force sung between the two.

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I hope you liked it and I would really appreciate some feedback!^^


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